forgiveness 05/10/1923 undeserved four hours ago we chose to camp tonight. Have chosen the new come with us. We have told all over the city of Reus and in your face we saw a sign of hope. Well, in all but the girl, who still do not know his name. It has not opened his mouth at any time. Only notes that bird. Juanca and Hans told us that during the captivity did not speak anything. It is a strange girl. His appearance and infers that something happens. His clothes look old rags, emaciated body, touching anorexia, her gaze lost ... It is definitely a girl with problems. He has not shown its interest in coming with us. We deduce that wants to come because when we have said, has not lowered the car. So we assume he does not care to come with us. Anyway, we were not abandoned but would leave it there. With reference to the cannibal
obviously we have not been with us. Of course. Nor was my intention nor would allow the group. Still, we had a little scare related to it, but I will tell later. First I want to talk about a little conversation I had with him. When I decided to take it with us, was because I wanted to ask some questions. I wanted to know why, together with their camp, killed and fed to innocent people. I wanted to know details of his life, knowing what kind of person he was, discovering that poor people are born and not made. After chat I had with him, now we can all get lost along the way and become unrecognizable beings.
I will transcribe my questions and answers with accuracy, because I took the trouble to write down on paper (Sisters of the Blessed photocopies, former owner of the car I drive, have served for something) everything to me said. The same day saying that at first been reluctant to answer my questions, but with patience I managed to whom I spoke. Ivan wanted to talk otherwise, but would not approve of his method, I would talk to him alone. Here you have the conversation. As I said, the questions and answers are as they have done:
P. What is your name, your age and where are you?
R. My name is Adolfo, I have 38 years and am a native of Tortosa. Actually, I was born in Tarragona, but I grew up in Tortosa and I have always considered tortosí. Anyway, I do not know you want to know all this.
P. Since you said that you'll be free if you answer my questions. What do you do before the start of everything?
R. He worked as a teacher in school, "San Jordi". He taught high school math students. Noses do not know what you get with these questions. Were you a journalist? Are you doing a story of what happened? If so, do not know where you're going to publish and who is going to read. Have you seen an errant reading? Why not me. Do not waste your time, boy, and let me go or do what you have to do with me.
P. How to get here and who were the camp?
R. How it arrives is a long story which I will not tell because I have neither desire nor do I believe that interests you. Just let me say that when you see a dozen young people is shattered by two walking in front of your eyes in the middle of a class and that when you try ask for help you find that the city is plunged into chaos, you first reaction is to flee. And if you run away and your path, you realize that cities or crowded area is a hotbed of infected, you conclude that areas outside the cities, such as a forest, are safe.
P. You have not answered the second question
In my flight, over the weeks, I joined different groups of survivors. In the first two groups, most died. Those who survived ended up joining us for a group that had camped on the site razed. In principle, it was a 6 people, this rascal them in this road and took the tents that were in vehicles for camping. With our arrival we became about 17. The camp was growing day by day. On the highway near the trees move would not stop people fleeing the cities and sought a quiet place away from walking. When the camp was old enough and since we could not accommodate more people, we fail to pick up people and dedicate ourselves to go unnoticed. We were about 38 people and lived provisioning of a shopping center about 30 miles away. From there we get more tents, kitchen utensils, clothes, etc ...
P. Did you have food and you fed people? Explain that
R. I think you have no clue. How have you survived this long being so very naive? Do you think the food is replenished by divine? You should be a little smarter and infer that this source of supply was exhausted. Feeding 38 people for months ... How much food do you think that lasted? A sigh. And that obviously those who were spoiled by lack of cold.
P. I still do not understand how could you reach that end. You act like murderers
R. Who asks you to understand? Moreover, who are you to judge? Apparently, you must be a nice guy. As I gather, you and your little group have been wandering a long time. You are a small group that does not presuppose a problem moving. Desplazáis you easily. Only two vehicles and you just point. Your path is offering you all you need. New stores which you find loot and get food. But we were 38 people, said soon. Move the whole group was virtually impossible. How many vehicles were going to need? What fuel where we were going to take? And where were going? And creating a group of volunteers to go to find food was useless. A party that could not bring enough food to feed everyone, would soon run all nearby sources of supply and would have the same dilemma. It was wasted effort and endanger the lives of volunteers.
P. Any option was good minus the cannibalism. Chose the path easier and more cruel
R. I repeat that we had no options. We tried all that were in our hand. We even tried to hunt a predator and try to eat it. We knew that eating the rotten meat could not bring good consequences, nevertheless, a partner ate it for testing. For your information, that person did not take long to fall ill. Was infected. It was a matter of hours to become a walking, head volásemos him. Exhausted this option and the hunting of animals, we had no other choice. Do you think that we, at the beginning, we were horrified at the idea? Do you think we imagined eating people? These things are not decided, arise. You are forced to make to survive. Equally bound to those types that they crashed the plane in the Andes and practiced cannibalism. We had women and children, we could not afford to let them die waiting for another solution. While we were starving debilitábamos and little by little, by road travel did not stop people on the move. We watched hidden until someone proposed the idea. Was Andoni who had this idea. As he said when it is exposed to all, "Hunt to survive." Believe me, though reluctant, the group raised his hand to vote on the idea. All. When this occurred, we got down to work. Took turns to watch all day on the road. Any person who crossed the interceptábamos of one form or another, we we earned their trust until we could knock out and kill painlessly. I remember the first we stop. It was a caravan of young boys and girls coming from the south. We were not easy to make that. I, personally, I had nightmares for weeks. I felt guilty until I realized we were doing the right thing.
P. Were we doing the right thing? How can you say that?
Of course we were doing the right thing, do not be in any doubt. Do you think these people were going to get very far? Do you think they would not end up falling into the hands of walking? The were going to devour them! And then become errant. Would only serve to be dead slag, in turn, would make more slag others dead, and so on. Wasted his life to a cause negative. Opposite was true whether they were hunted and eaten by us. In this way they died for a good cause. His death was not in vain. In addition, we, unlike the errant life quitábamos them quickly and less painless as possible. They perish meant that the community survived, was that a small society of survivors were kept alive and healthy, we could all see a new dawn, we could survive and multiply, so, tomorrow, destroy all this chaos and reconstruct society again. Survival has been and is in all aspects of life. Without going any further, look at the animals. What does not kill animals to survive? Whether for food or for other reasons of survival. The wolf hunt other living things, does the same lion, fox and so on idem. Everybody's doing it for a purpose: to survive, to ensure their herd and breed to ensure their lineage. It is the law of nature and the years of easy living, man has forgotten his predator status. Yes do not understand is because you will not. If you had been in our place opinarías Like ...
P. Never. I would never have participated in such barbarism. I'd rather die of hunger before
R. What I was saying, you are naive. And selfish. Selfish because you think individually. Be warned, this way of thinking will bring you many problems with your group. You always think collectively. Can not say we never do anything, you should ask if the group needs to do something. If you have to kill the group, you have to kill ... From the expression on your face I dare say you've had to kill your group. See? You and I are not so different. We have done things "Horrible" for the good of the group and for our survival. Make sure that before, thought would never be able to do them. So I repeat, if you had been with us, you would have acted like us. And do not say it as a reproach, you just say that I have done and would have acted properly. I do so again, we have not done anything else in our place had not done. It was all for survival and I do not regret anything.
P. How many people have killed to feed you?
anotábamos You think in a notebook the number of people capturábamos? Do you count the number of animals that fell on your plate before it happened all? How many chicken breasts you ate a year? This is the same. We did this for fun. We have done out of necessity, stick it on the head. But if both you insist, I will say that more than a hundred insurance. I guess your next question was if we made distinctions. Yes, we did. Children do not we eat them. The integrábamos in the community to adapt. Of course, if the game had become scarce, we would not have made any kind of distinction. In the same way I tell you that if we had not had the luck to be near the highway, so busy for survivors, it is possible that we would raised the elect members of our community for food. This would not have done anyway, but selectively. Members would have used less useful to the community. We would have taken as a natural selection, the triumph of the strong over the weak ...
After hearing such a series of atrocities, have been terminated this "interview." His coldness to tell all, his lack of remorse, as to rejoice in each of his words ... I have produced a tremendous feeling sick and shoot him between the eyes. Now if I'm glad that Ivan has blown camp that fucking morons. When he captured with the intention to ask questions, not even remotely expected to justify their actions in this way. How fucked is that despite everything that has made him and his people is wrong, I did not find arguments to refute. Has another morality, another vision of what is right and wrong. How the hell do I can explain and understand a wolf that is wrong to kill for food? It is not the same thing and God forbid that not justify, but that's what these guys have been doing all along. Again entered the dilemma of what is right and wrong. Only God can judge these acts. I, on the contrary, they could never do so. As much as he says he would have to be in that situation.
Many of you that you will be preguntándoos we've done with him, if we have killed. Perhaps it would have been better. Take him to the curb as he was, bound hand and foot and put a bullet in his skull filled with garbage. But that has not happened. Ivan has been proposed to kill him. His argument was a murderer and did not deserve a second chance. Fede has supported this motion. The others have stayed away. I was the only one opposed, but now I regret it. When Ivan has held at gunpoint with a shotgun, have separated the barrel quickly. Ivan has been like a basilisk, but have not entered their game. My response has been "We are not like him. We will prove" . I ignored his "As no! I am the son of a bitch and I'm going to show!" and have cut the bonds of the cannibal. This, with look of surprise, has risen and looked me straight in the eye. His words have been "Thank you. But now more than ever, I remember that you are still an individualist. Do not you let them kill me out of pure selfishness. Do not want to be like Me, so I've stopped. But I told you are not so different. All of us here are the same. The difference is that you insist on believing that you're not well. A clear example is your classmates. They both want to kill me and others refrain from comment. You're the one who insists on respecting life. Do not get me wrong, I appreciate it. But we are not so different but you insist. And you'll understand. Above all we must understand that putting the group on any other thing or otherwise, the welfare of all may come down. Take it as advice. Chao ". After this, he has walked away from highway below. Ivan tried to shoot the submachine gun, but again, I've stopped. In that bad time.
We started and we have gone few miles. We have fallen the night and we decided to camp at the place where we are now. The time has passed without startle any and all happened after dinner. This few hours ago. We were all getting ready to sleep when Esther has been a leak. Has gone out of the highway and is hidden behind some bushes. The odd thing was when they passed the minutes and Esther did not return. We have called out, but she has not replied. When we looked behind the bushes and found that there was no sign of it, is when I imagined the worst. The whole group we took our guns and flashlights and we left the highway to get it, calling loudly. We divided in groups of two and bifrcado to find it. Bethlehem and I went through an area of \u200b\u200bshrubs and bushes as we have seen a silhouette in the dark. When we lit this, we have been frozen. It was the fucking cannibal. In his hands he held a knife that was located in the throat of Esther. This was gagged and tied hand and foot. His cheek was bleeding profusely. The cannibal did not seem surprised, but quite the opposite. Only says "Wow ... You people have screwed up the appetizer" . Bethlehem and I have quickly gunpoint. Seeing this, Adolfo has grabbed Esther stronger and more tightened the knife blade against the neck of Esther. In the eyes of the tears flowed in torrents. When I've ordered the release, he just said "I warned you, Erik. You must put the welfare of your group first ". I have repeated the order, but this time remained silent and still, using a shield Esther. After a few seconds of silence, said " Let's see if you learned something .. . and has dropped to Esther, which has fallen to the ground. A bare chest, he looked at me defiantly and has encouraged me to shoot. I have not. I've followed him at gunpoint but I have not dared to pull the trigger. Finally, he said "You have not learned anything. Kill your party with this attitude " and raised the knife in the direction of Esther. Then I fired three shots with the pistol, which have impacted on his chest. I remember that while kneeling down and with blood pouring from his mouth, said through a trickle voice "you know ... You're just like us ..." . Have been his last words. The shootings have brought the whole group, that Esther was looking away from the area. When they saw the scene, have been surprised. Expecting anything less than that fucking cannibal had followed us. I neither espraba when we found it. While Edward and Mary Esther unleashed, Ivan has approached me and pushing me, says "You're a fucking shit! We had to be killed at the time! We have avoided this! Esther could be dead by now your fucking reckless. Do we thought that guy was going to reinstate? What was going to be a vegetarian at this point? If you do not have balls to pull the trigger and protect your family, leave them that if we have. Just do us the favor ... ". I have not heard more. I turned around and I freak for the car. Bethlehem followed me and has not stopped to tell me that I have acted properly at all times, I'm not a psychopath such as Ivan and I did not know that this could happen. I appreciate your support, but he says it to make me feel better. I know. The worst thing is that fucking cannibal was right. Sometimes, we must not wonder what is right and what is wrong if what is at stake is the survival of the group. I wrong.
Perhaps, as he tells it, I'm not that different than he was ... Although sometimes I try to put a mask to feel better.
- Erik -